124.4

I have resorted to tracking again.  I thought I was done with this and was ready for 'intuitive' eating.  I was wrong.  For someone who used to like to be 'right' I have realized over the years that I really don't always know what I am doing. I don't have all the answers.  I am willing to be wrong.

The other night we ate at Chili's.  Now I know how to track WW points, calories, read restaurant menus, make sound choices.  But, I also know that I put my head in the sand and look the other way and pretend that my choices aren't all that bad sometimes.  My Chili's Black Bean burger (with ranch ON THE SIDE) on a wheat bun and steamed broccoli seemed like a good choice.  I used to get this all the time (and eat half).  This time I ate 3/4 of it, 75% of the broccoli. Together that was 484 calories.  My son and I shared a brownie sundae - big mistake! The whole thing has 1290 calories.  I ate 1/4 = 322.5 calories - sooooo not worth it.  The sundae was most definitely NOT an intuitive choice, and I was not physically hungry before I ate it. My dinner alone was 806 calories!  My maintenance level is 1142 calories.  No wonder I am not losing these 8 pounds.  I have been refusing to be honest about my choices.  I have ignored the reality that I am NOT making good choices. I have been pretending that I can do this without paying attention to calories. At this point in time, I need to keep track.

My Jimmy John's #4 with cheese no mayo for lunch yesterday was 316.5 calories (I only ate 3/4) and my Thinny Chips (90% of them) were 117 calories.  Tracking is eye-opening. Again. Yesterday I finished at 1303 calories consumed, 306 calories burned on the treadmill.  A part of me loves crunching numbers AND a part of me sits with her head in hands, discouraged, wondering if I'll ever be able to figure this out 'intuitively.'  For now, it's more important to me to lose the 8 pounds.  I know how to do that with the calories in versus calories burned method.  I'm headed for the treadmill now.