Something Clicked

I have been unhappy with my weight (as high as 125.9 in recent weeks), yet unmotivated and unwilling to do what I know works. I needed to find that inner mentor/guide and keep the inner tyrant at bay.  I did not want to become obsessive about counting calories, points, steps taken, ounces of water, number on the scale, or any other number that my inner tyrant likes to use to beat me about the head.

I also know that the majority of us underestimate the amount of calories we consume and overestimate our exertion during exercise. I was one. I am now in the minority. This time, because I read Younger Next Year for Women by Chris Crowley and Henry Lodge. Here are some gems from the book:

"All right, think of exercise as a one-a-day pill. A feel-good pill that ought to be illegal but isn't."

"So keep a simple diary .... write down, every day .. 1) what I ate, 2) what I did for exercise (or didn't), and 3) what I did with my life - sexually, socially, morally...whatever you care about. It is a tremendous help to know....that someone cares. Even if it's just you."

I have been trying to eat intuitively.  I admit, I am not that in-touch with my body to do that just yet.  I admit, I have not really been exerting myself like I should/could, even when walking on the treadmill. I have been (under)estimating calories eaten for sure. Two things are keeping me honest and informed: the heart rate monitor while exercising and writing down what I eat and drink.  I lost 2.7 pounds this week (currently 121.7).  Something is working.  Maybe it's my own awareness. Maybe I found my inner mentor.  So far, this is working. It's the right amount of structure for me and the right amount of feedback.  

The funny thing is, I'm eating much healthier, feeling much better, figuring out how to listen to my body,  and I'm not hungry at all. It is so much less about the number on the scale (which admittedly still matters) than it is about what my body needs and wants.